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When you become a part of (or grow up in) the Jehovah’s Witness religion, you will learn some new words and phrases that only you and other Witnesses share. There are times when talking to a non-Witness that you need to use “regular” words so they don’t get confused. Here’s an example.

One time when I was a little kid, I was home alone when a maintenance guy came over for something. (Yeah I know, very unwise and dangerous) We had a JW calendar on the wall, and the guy asked where I got it from. Assuming he wouldn’t know what a Kingdom Hall was, I replied, “From my church.” Now, that sentence would make any Jehovah’s Witness gasp in horror. They don’t call their houses of worship churches! Oh well, at my young age I didn’t feel like explaining to some stranger what a Kingdom Hall was, so I took the easy way out and used a word that he would understand.

To help everyone understand better what these words are and what they mean, should you ever hear them for any reason, I have compiled a list of some words and their definitions. Of course these aren’t all of them, I may have to make a JW Terminology Part II one day. For now though, here’s the list:

  • Apostate: a former Witness who speaks against the religion.

  • Armageddon: the day when Jehovah will destroy this world and anyone who’s not a Witness; also Witneses who are not in good standing.

  • Conscience issue: something that isn’t outright wrong, but some may think is unwise. So use your conscience to decide.

  • Disfellowship: the ultimate punishment by throwing a JW out of the religion until they are repentant enough to return.

  • False religion: all religions besides the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

  • Good standing: someone who is doing well in the religion.

  • Great Tribulation: the turbulent time that will mark the beginning of Armageddon.

  • Kingdom Hall: the building Jehovah’s Witnesses hold their meetings.

  • Meeting: a religious service

  • New system: the paradise earth that is yet to come.

  • Repentant: when you have overcome your sin and you desire to return to Jehovah.

  • The Truth: the Jehovah’s Witness religion.

  • Worldly: refers to a non-Jehovah’s Witness; also a thing, idea, or style that Jehovah’s Witnesses identify with non-Witnesses.

Did you get all that? I could go on, but I’ll stop here for now. If you happen to overhear two Witnesses talking, or maybe if one should slip up while talking to you and use some of these terms, now you’ll know what they’re actually saying and can secretly judge them in your head (because this stuff is insane, am I right??) Till next time, may Jehovah keep you in his care and keeping. (Lol)